Relationship with self is the most crucial element of a healthy, harmonious and joyful living. It includes awareness, caring, kindness and a space of vulnerability where you can be truly you. However, most of us are not taught how to nurture, nourish and evolve this relationship. Despite the fact that this is the most important relationship of our life, we seldom ignore it, hide it, avoid it, or resist it. Here are five things you need to know about your relationship with yourself.
Your self-relationship reflects on the relationships you have with others.
As the saying goes, if you can’t love yourself, don’t expect others to love you. To put simply, others rejecting us is a reflection of a part of us not being accepted by us. How others behave with you can both be an information about how you are behaving with yourself and at the same time a possibility for change. Everytime you feel disappointed by others, ask yourself: “what part of me am I rejecting that is being reflected by this person?” It will give you a lot of freedom when you unleash the truth.
Unlike any other, self-relationship cannot be destroyed
All relationships that we made in the course of our lives can be broken and destroyed, except the one we have with ourselves. Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you binge eat, not exercise, or drive your body through stress and strain, it still goes along with you somehow? That is how powerful and unbreakable a connection there is between you and your inner self. It will never give in, give up or quit on you. Moment you acknowledge that – a sense of gratitude can emerge, which allows you to have a better relationship with yourself.
Like any other, self-relationship builds over time.
Now, imagine a friend who you have not been in touch with for many years or have been punished for not giving the expected results, how would that friend behave with you? It is the same with your relationship with your inner self. We often give up after the first few attempts when we think our inner self is not responding well or that we don’t know how to communicate with it. As and how you choose to re-build that relationship for the reasons mentioned earlier, it will take time. One step at a time, you connect, nurture, and nourish it to build trust and harmony.
Self-relationship is not cognitive, it is energetic
If we try to understand our relationship with our inner being in cognitive terms, we might be frustrated to no end. Our inner being communicates energetically and it is different for everyone. It is an internal and uniquely personal journey of exploration.This is one of the reasons why ten step guides or personal development commandments don’t work. You do perceive the energy in a way only you can understand. The trick is to start asking yourself rather than looking outside for answers.
Self-relationship can open doors to a different reality
Once the relationship with self is built, it can do miraculous things for you and your living. It can open doors to an entirely different possibility, which wasn’t allowed before. It is like asking: If you were the first person on earth, how would you choose to live, love, laugh, create and generate your life? With your inner compass and knowing, you can out-create everything that exists on the outside. This relationship is behind the best creations in the world that exist today.
Relationship with self is not easy since we have never been taught how to deal with it but it does bring a lot of ease and joy in life once nurtured. If you feel stuck in your life, feel heavy and sad or are facing relationship issues, begin by exploring your inner self. It demands attention by way of bringing up blocks in your life or pains and aches in the body. What would it take you now to integrate all parts of you that you have left behind or rejected?
For more information on this exploration, visit: www.sonalimittra.com
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Sonali Mittra
(Sonali Mittra is a certified Inner Child Therapist, Family Constellation facilitator, Access bars and body process practitioner, and leadership coach)
